I remember being in my early teens and dreaming of Nick Jonas every night… and I mean EVERY night. I dreamed of us walking across the beach, going to dinner, having a family and what ever else you could possible think of. It was crazy. I had all of the Jonas Brothers albums and went to their concerts whenever they came to Minnesota. I was the crazy fan girl who’s ultimate dream would consist of dating Nick Jonas and having his babies.
Yeah that never happened and ended after 2 long years of craziness. I met someone senior year of high school who has changed my life. Many girls get that feeling more than once, unfortunately. After having a toxic relationship that lasted for a year and a half I didn’t think i could love the same…until I met my prince charming Andy. He wasn’t my prince charming in the beginning because we were just friends, but we formed a relationship through a friendship and that is something I had never experienced before. I knew this time it would be different.
I still remember having one of my friends urge me to like Andy while we were paint balling. She kept whispering to me, “Helena please go for Andy”. I’m pretty sure she asked like everyone to do that, but I was thinking just let me set my gun down in the arena, walk over to him and start hitting on him. No, I couldn’t do that. That was the first time that thought ever hit my mind. What if I did try to hit on him?
Year or 2 goes by and Andy and I are friends. YES still friends. We texted, hung out with our friends and whatever else friends did. Except for last year in 2014. Things started heating up. We were talking and hanging out. I was developing something called feelings for him. Our friends always liked to go out and do things. They were adventurous and never wanted to stay inside unless they wanted to do honesty circle which was always a bad idea… too many tears and deep stuff. We all decided to go to The Depot in Minneapolis. We had gone already before and wanted to go again. Andy used to play hockey and I remember just watching him skate around and something was magical about it. He was just so intriguing and attractive on that note. I could tell he was obviously just skating around super fast to show off his skill to everyone or he was competing with another dude who played hockey, I don’t really know. All I knew was that I wanted him. For the first time in our friendship I felt like I wanted more than just this little. That night it all came out. He drove one of our friends and I back and riding in the car with him alone felt like a sauna with all the nerves kicking in. It was just us 2 and it was a mix of scary and exciting. By the time we got back to my car my hands felt like they were just dipped in water. We sat in the car and before I left we spilled our feelings. I always feel that is something that is so important, that if you’re going to share feelings it should be face to face. I had fireworks exploding in my stomach.
It’s been almost 10 months with this fella and I can’t explain how much I care for this human being. Who would’ve thought that someone like me could care/love/protect this person with all of my being. People doubted us and I cant elaborate anymore on not listening to others on what they think of your relationship. I’m sorry that we are happy and you are not so you decide to bash on us and say things that would hurt one of us. It’s sad. Anyways, live life and ride on the rollercoaster that goes through it. You never know where you’ll end up.
“Remember that you don’t choose love; love chooses you. All you really can do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing then reach out and give it away.” – Kent Nurburn